All Hell All The Time

My crazed mind is pondering a lot of things that I’ve learned over the last five wretched decades. Here are just a few tidbits:

1. Everyone is a fucker until proven cordial–Tell your children & grandchildren this before they enter first grade. It will help them deal with all the hell.
2. There are four kinds of people in the world: 1) cordial 2) fuckers 3) cordial fuckers and 4) those who are fucking cordial.
3. Never, ever let anyone hear you say anything you’re really thinking. Phony bullshit works better than the honest truth. Trust me on this one.
4. Never, ever socialize with more than one lady at a time. Get three bitches together (at lunch, shopping, a show, or whatever the hell you like to do) and there’s going to be some hell and/or drama.
5. Just a slight reiteration of #3: Be phony and full of shit at all times. If you can’t lie and say a bunch of happy horseshit to people, just keep your fucking trap shut.

Am I missing something? Sure, it’s good to feel joy and be happy about the good shit that happens in one’s life, but the expression “YAY!” is really starting to frost my ass!

What the hell is it with every asshole out there (girls & women, primarily) who constantly say, “YAY!” after every fucking thing that happens to them? For the love of God, I hear it from a  16-year-old who found out she’s not going to be a teenage mom;  a 30-something who found out her beau isn’t headed to the slammer, and an 60ish woman who’s no longer constipated. I swear, lately, I hear “YAY!” at least three times during 20-minute conversation!

How about using a variety of happy expressions, in addition to “YAY!” Here are a few that come to mind: “Hot damn!” “Holy shit!” “Fucking fabulous!”

BTW, in the Urban Dictionary, “Yay” is defined as: “Slang for Cocaine.” Maybe all of these bitches constantly saying, “YAY!” are high!

Welcome to All Hell All The Time–random and rambling thoughts of a middle aged,  long in the tooth woman who’s trying to get through another day.